Bradens Picks Week 9

Every year my husband and I join our local casino's football pool. Every week we pick who we think is going to win,in hopes of winning stuff for ourselves. When you buy two cards you get a third one free so we thought it would be fun to let our son pick every week for fun too (hey people let their dogs pick!). Here are his picks for this week if you want to go make some bets and win some money for yourself lol

falcons
dolphins
bills
saints
browns
jets
chargers
cardinals
giants
raiders
eagles
packers
bengals

P.S. Your welcome!

P.S.S. This is all in good fun so I dont want to get any mail that I shouldnt expose my 5 year old to betting or whatever..hes not betting he is just picking the team he likes the most :)

Oh yeah and the Cowgirls suck and the Patriots are cheaters! GO RAMS AND EAGLES

This made me lol

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One whole year

Wow so it has been one whole year since Jon got laid off. I was 14 weeks pregnant when the phone rang at 7:30 am and Jon told me the bad news. We weren't really shocked, we knew it was coming soon we just didnt know when. When I hung up the phone I lost it, I cried and cried and laid back in bed trying to figure things out. When Jon got home we talked and he was pretty sure his lay off was only going to last 3 months at the most. When I look back I really cant believe it has been a whole year! These are the things I have learned in the past year:

1. Never assume anything
2. There really never is a perfect time to have a baby no matter how prepared you feel
3. You can never save enough money
4. Material things are pointless
5. Stress effects every single thing you do, sleeping, eating, pretty much living in general
6. It is pointless to worry about things you can't control...eventhough I do it anyway
7. Everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is yet to be determined
8. Things can always get worse
9. No news is not always good news
10. I am not as strong as I thought I was, but I am a REALLY good actress :)
11. I will never take anything for granted again
12. No matter how bad things are someone always has it worse
13. Be extremely grateful for what you have
14. My children make me crazy and grounded at the same time
15. I am lucky to have the best hardworking husband out there who will do anything to make sure his family is provided for
16. Banks suck
17. I have an awesome support system in my family and friends
18. I need to stop moping and be excited for what the future has
19. We can get through anything
20. My mom always has and always will be there for me, AND she is always right :)

Hope everyone is doing well :)

9/11.....never forget??

On the eve of 9/11 I decided to take a look at tomorrows programming to see if there were going to be any 9/11 specials on. I literally went through every network on my satellite dish and only ONE yes ONE is doing anything to commemorate that day. The History channel is the only one airing specials all day. They always say "We Will Never Forget" and yet not one major network can do anything to honor all of those people who lost their lives? It is just disgusting to me for that to be the case when there are still tons of troops in Afghanistan losing their lives for this war that supposedly started because of 9/11.

What pisses me off the most is that because of the effing New Oreleans Saints winning the damn Super Bowl we have yet to hear the end of Hurricane Katrina. Yes it was sad I completely agree, but it is very hard for me to feel 100% bad for those people who were affected by the hurricane given the fact that they had warning. In fact they had about a week of warnings, telling those residents to leave because it was such a huge storm. A lot of people ignored it and as a result many lost their lives. Very sad, it really was but because the Saints won the Super Bowl and their first game Thursday night I have seen nothing but more Hurricane Katrina images. It happened 5 years ago, I really dont know what the damn Super Bowl had to do with it, but that isnt my main problem. My main issue is the fact that they wont stop talking about Katrina and yet we cant get a 9/11 tribute?? I will say it again Katrina victims HAD WARNING. Do you think that if people had been told "There will be a terrorist attack on 9/11" anyone would have flown?? Hell no! These innocent everyday people, firefighters, and policeman lost thier lives trying to save people and we wont dare honor them every single year forever? It is just sick.

When 9/11 first happened I was about to turn 16 and was on a cruise (ok yes it was the Disney one) ship in the middle of the ocean. We were at a beach and I decided to head back to the ship while the rest of my family stayed on the beach. As I walked back to my room I heard people screaming and crying "The towers the towers! They hit the towers!" I had no idea what they were talking about, I turned on the tv in the room saw two building on fire, had no idea what they were, shut it off and went to sleep. I still feel bad to this day I had no idea what was going on and was ashamed to say I didn't even realize it was the Twin Towers. I remember my mom saying right away something about a guy named Bin Laden and it probably being him. Then I remember my dad saying that we weren't going to get home for a while. We ended up getting stuck in Florida for 10 days trying to get home. I had no idea what was going on around me because all I could think about was whining that I couldnt get home in time for my 16th birthday party. I wish I would have paid more attention, but I was a selfish little 16 year old who only cared about myself (and my party).

Because of my guilt every 9/11 anniversary I sit and I watch the same programs the History channel plays every year and have a good cry. It is so amazing to me that I lived through that, something that will be in history books forever and ever, and at the time I didnt care. Its pretty pathetic actually. I have watched just about every program they have out there about it and the planes going into those towers never gets easier to watch, but thats not why I watch, I watch them to try and make up for the fact that I wasn't as devastated as everyone else when it happened because I just didnt understand. I hope that all of you do something in your own way to pay tribute and truly remember what happened that day, as Americans we really should never forget.

Oh and I will bet you a million dollars that the media will do nothing but talk nonstop on the next 9/11 because it will be the 10th anniversary. At least it will get some recognition next year but it would be nice for it to be a big deal every year.

I know this post might offend some people and if it doesn I'm sorry it is not my intention to make anyone mad. I know both 9/11 and Katrina are very touchy subjects, please understand that I come here to voice myself, not seek approval

P90whhhaaaaaaa

I should have mentioned this before but I didn't so deal with it

I decided to start doing P90X with Jon because I am so ready to be done with this baby weight! This program is probably one of the hardest things I have ever made myself do but I am excited to see what it can do for me. It better do something it is at least an hour a day 6 days a week!

I just started week 5 and I already notice I am a little stronger and I didn't cry today! yaaaay me! While I am excited that I noticed that change and some toning in my body, I still haven't seen a single pound shed off of me, in fact I have gained weight. From all of the research I have done that is normal for a woman and I should start seeing major changes in my body during this phase (phase 2).

Eventhough I have read a lot and I know what is going on with meis normal, it doesnt help when you are doing the program with your husband and you are gaining weight and he is DOWN 11 POUNDS. He has learned now that when he does step on the scale not to tell me how much MORE he has lost. Don't get me wrong I am jealous happy for him but it is so hard that he is dropping all this weight and I'm not. I am trying to keep going with the hope that my time will come too. I will start updating more but no I will not be posting my lovely "before" picture :)

You're how old??

I know I have been slacking on my bliggity blog but here you go

I can't believe that my little tiny preemie baby is 5 years old! I know how exciting it is for him, but for me it is terrifying. It's weird because when he was born I couldn't picture him at age 1, at age 1 I couldn't picture him at age 2 and so on. I know he is only 5 but my mind has already drifted to trying to picture him as a teenager. I mean what kind of person is he going to be? What will he be like? What will his first girlfriend be like? Oh geez...see how my mind wanders?? That is far enough away but for now my baby is getting ready to start Kindergarten, and I have to fight back the tears everyday. I can only imagine what his first day is going to be like. I can picture myself a blubbering mess while Braden runs off and forgets I am still standing there. After standing there for 15 minutes Jon will have to drag me back to the car explaining that Braden is fine, and maybe if I am good he will take me out for ice cream to make it all better.

Bradens birthday party was a lot of fun...ok for him. He had his closest friends with him and of course he didn't want to leave. I didn't get to have as big of a party for him as I wanted but we are just so broke this year it was impossible to invite every kid that Braden has ever met. As much as I would have liked to do that it just wasn't going to happen. Surprisingly to party with a giant rat is not cheap! All that mattered is that he had an awesome time and couldn't stop talking about it for DAYS. I have a strong feeling that this birthday party will not be the last at that beloved place....lucky me!!!

This made me CMP (crap my pants)

For the past two years I have been a big time Dexter fan (um yeah seriously almost named my baby Dexter). I don't know what it is about this show that makes you want a serial killer to keep getting away with murder, but if you watch it once you get hooked. Maybe it helps that he isn't the worst thing to look at! Last seasons finale was one of those endings that you literally sit there in disbelief through the credits. Well Showtime FINALLY released the trailer for the new season and I just about crapped myself! It is going to be soooooo good. If you dont watch it then fahreaking get Showtime or Netflix and start watching it!

Caaaaaaalifornia Looooooove (insert your own robot voice)

Went to Newport Beach this weekend with my Sarah birch and it was BEAUTIFUL! The trip started out a little rocky but ended up being one of the best trips I have ever been on! Thursday night (the night before we left) I got bit by something. I don't know if it was a spider or what but it itched like crazy and the thought of a spider being on me was freaking me out! I ignored it and figured I would keep an eye on it. Friday morning I noticed that the bite was HUGE and was starting to spread across my foot, it was so nasty looking. So when we got to Newport Sarah and I went to the ER to get me checked out. Turns out it was an infection (that they were suspecting was self inflicted from a NEEDLE..yes they asked if I was a drug addict lol). I told them it was a bug bite and I am not sure if they believed me but they wrote me a prescription for some antibiotics and I was on my way. It was the fastest ER visit ever! In and out within 2 hours is pretty much unheard of in Vegas.
The rest of the trip was just too much fun. Our first stop was the No Doubt house!! It was sooo awesome to see it...I know I'm a geek but I thought it was the coolest thing! All day Saturday we sat on the beach and just hung out. Well Sarah and I were going to get some drinks but SOMEONE forgot their ID and we got denied at the door to the bar (it was me oops). Braden is a little beach bum and enjoyed every second. Brody did very very well and has aquired a taste for the sea air. The only other problem we had on the beach was Brody's poop explosion lol, but luckily mommy wasn't there for that! Awesome friends and the beach it really doesn't get much better!!

Thanks to this trip I have fallen in love with California all over again. So much so that Jon and I are re-evaluating everything and are coming up with a plan to move there in the nearish future. We have some things in mind but can't act on anything for a while. I will keep you all posted but I know we will not stay in Vegas forever, I refuse! I belong on the beaches I grew up in :)

Dear Kristen Stewart,

Please wipe that scowl off of your face! Why do you always look so pissed off? Do you really hate the fame, or are you just trying to be mysterious? Well if you don't want to be famous and have people asking you for autographs and asking about your personal life go work at McDonalds! That way you won't have to feel "uncomfortable"

No I'm being mean...these are probably the reasons you are always so mad:

You HAVE to kiss R-Patz and you are totally dating him..ugh eeewww! (being sarcastic)
You have a LOT of money...like A LOT
You are always in good movies (ok most of them)
People want your autograph and picture..ugh how rude!
You get awards and have to accept them

Geez I could go on and on about how bad your life is!! Poor thing!

P.S. I know your life sucks and everything but if you ever want to trade....

My husband the....er....mechanic

For the past couple of days my car has been making this horrible noise when I would turn the air on level 3 or higher. Being the super (somewhat) investigator I am I figured out the problem myself (ok I googled). Turns out my blower fan was out or whatever. So Jon heads down to Auto Zone to pick up a new one and save the day. Of course they didn't have the part we needed....of course. I finally found on at the dealership and had Jon pick it up.

I swear what is it with men when they come home with a new car part? When he got home it seemed like he was trying not to skip to the garage. This is a man who just worked 12 hours (oh yeah he is working again btw...that's a topic for another blog) hadn't eaten since noon and wanted to play with the car before eating. Jon even gets like this when he is going to change the brakes and I think he secretly can't wait for the brakes to go she he can change them lol. Braden loves when Jon is out in the garage too because it gives him an excuse to go out there and play with all the toys that have mysteriously disappeared from the playroom. Every now and then Braden will come in from the garage and say "LOOK what I FOUND!" and I'm thinking to myself "Oh crap,it took forever to get him forget about that!" Anyway back to Jon.....

I opened the door to the garage to check and see what progress he was making and found him playing with his high powered flashlight that he had plugged into the car. This flashlight is more like a spotlight, like the ones that they shine at the sky for a grand opening or something. It also has two settings...bright and obnoxiously bright. He said "haha look at this *click* *click* *click* *click*" (turning it from bright to obnoxiously bright)I just stared at him, smirked and shut the door. I went back a few minutes later to remind him that I had to pick my mom up from the airport soon, so he needed to hurry. In the middle of telling him that my lights started turning off and on. I didn't think anything of it at first and then I realized that he had just killed my battery by playing with the damn flashlight!

I played it off for a minute:

me:"Uh what is wrong with the car?"
Jon:"Hmmm thats weird!"
Me:"Did you just kill my battery with that damn flashlight thing???"
Jon: "Nah maybe it is just starting to die" *unplugs flashlight*
Jon: *puts keys in ignition to try and start...click click click*

Yeah this time the clicking was bad. Although I think it is funny now I was not a happy camper when this was happening, mostly because I had to get my mom for the airport. The car was so dead that I couldn't even put the car in neutral so we could get it near Jon's truck for a jump. From there Jon took the battery out of his truck, put it next to my car, hooked up the cables,and got ready to try and jump it that way. I just started laughing, I have never seen anyone try and jump a car that way and I kept telling him it wouldn't work. We argued and he said it would....well we both were right. The battery alone gave the car just enough juice for the lights to come back on and for me to put it in neutral and get it down the driveway, but not before my cd player became possessed and started cycling through every cd nonstop...I actually got flashbacks from my Passat.

:::When I was 17 my VW Passat's computer (you know that thing that controls all the functions in the car?) started to die on me. The electric seat belt freaked out and was locking in place then unlocking, the air vents were switching on/off, the vent speeds were changing by themselves, the gas pedal floored itself, the radio was turning on and off in addition to changing the stations....all on the freeway. Can you imagine seeing a 17 year old on the freeway screaming that she was being attacked by her car? Yeah I would love to see that from the outside...I still miss that car, we had some good times, even if it was the devil car, red and all.
RIP RCKSTDY 1992-2004:::

Eventually we got the battery back in Jon's truck, hooked up the cables and my car started right back up with just about 10 minutes to spare before I had to leave. Even though he did eventually save the day....he got his flashlight taken away


Oh and P.S. I can't believe that I forgot to take pictures of this...i need to take more pictures!!

Brodys 1st trip to the ER....FOR NOTHING

Ugh I swear it is so hard to find people who know what the hell they are talking about!! Last night I was a little worried about Brody because his sleeping habits and eating habits were changing and he hadn't gone poopie in 3 whole days. He is breastfed and I have been told that if he isn't going poopie a few times a day it is abnormal. I decided to call his pediatricians "medical advice line" last night. It took them 45 minutes to call me back and by the time I got off the phone with her I was in tears rushing to the ER. Here's what happened....

When the nurse called we went through the normal things..name, birthday, etc. she asked what was wrong and I told her Brody is breastfed hadn't had a bowel movement in 3 days, was sleeping longer, and not eating as much. She asked a million questions and then told me this...."A baby his age should never go longer than 1-2 hours in between feedings, he shouldn't be sleeping for that many hours at a time, something is seriously wrong and you need to get him to the ER RIGHT NOW to get his stomach checked out. I should have questioned her more before I loaded Braden up to go to his Mom-moms at 1am and started crying and freaking out that something was seriously wrong with my baby. I thought some of the things she was saying to me weren't right but she is a professional right? The only thing I could think of is that she was thinking he was 11 DAYS old not WEEKS, but nonetheless I scrambled to get everything together and rushed to the ER.

On the way to the ER I downed a Red Bull because I knew was going to be there for a a while and wanted to be alert...I think that was a mistake. I was all shaky when I showed up and Jon said my pupils were huge. I was afraid they were going to think I was on crack or something.

Much to my dismay both John Stamos and George Clooney had the night off so I had to deal with the other ER staff. When I checked Brody in they asked me why I was there and when I told them they looked at me like I was crazy for bringing him down there. I explained that I had talked to a nurse who told me this was an urgent matter that had to be looked at right away. They took his temp (normal temp) weighed him (15lbs now!) and told me it is not uncommon for babies to go that long without a bowel movement. I waited in the waiting room for just a few minutes (which was a surprise) and saw the doctor right away. I was explaining to her everything I had explained a few times by now and she gave me the same "why are you here again?" look. She told me the same thing, that it wasn't uncommon but they would check him out anyways. After examining him she said he is perfectly healthy looking, and she had no idea why that nurse told me to come in. She said if a baby his age wants to sleep for hours on end then fine. If he goes longer without eating then fine. Obviously he wasn't hungry because he is HUGE!! She was so confused and thought the same thing...that maybe the nurse had confused 11 weeks with 11 days. Either way she ordered some blood tests just to make sure everything was ok.

I have a really big problem with people getting blood drawn...I cant watch or its sleepy time for Brittany. My poor little guy got stuck in BOTH arms because they couldn't find a good vein. For 10 minutes I listened to my baby screaming while they tried to draw blood from him. It was horrible and devastating. When listening to that you get to a point where you either want to run out of there with the baby and say forget it or scream and yell at the phlebotomist and tell him to go back to school. It was now 3:30am and we were told we had to wait at least an hour for the blood test results.

In the meantime Jon and I sat in Brody's little room and watched "Family Matters" (I never realized how stupid that show is but it is really really stupid) while snacking on chips from the vending machine. Oh and on the way to the vending machine I passed their security guard who was sleeping...yeah thaaaats nice. I also consumed the most disgusting "mocha" out of one of those coffee machines that I have ever tasted in my life. The entire time we were sitting there waiting I was afraid the cops were going to come in an tell me they thought I was on something lol. If I were someone working there I would have thought something was wrong with me....shaky, dilated pupils, bloodshot eyes (from being exhausted), and having trouble concentrating when asked questions. That's the last time I load up on Red Bull and coffee without eating (cheetos are NOT food)

Finally it was about 4:45am and I went to find the nurse or doctor to find out what was going on. There was no one at the nurse station but I saw someone in a dark room behind the nurses station and noticed they were sleeping. A nurse came up and asked me if I needed anything and I statrted to tell him that I was trying to see if they got any results yet when the person sleeping in the dark room darted up. I then realized the person sleeping was the DOCTOR. Oh gosh seriously?? I know it wasn't a busy night but come on! She then told me that she had just looked and the results weren't in yet but she was going to call them again. I knew she was just pulling something out of her ass because she just got caught sleeping but I didn't say anything and trusted her to call the people.

Not 5 minutes later she came in and said he was 100% fine. All blood work came back normal and they gave him a laxative and sent us on our way. When we got outside the sun was up and that was not what I wanted to see. When we got home Jon and I and Brody were all exhausted and passed out.

The thing with last night is yes, I know people make mistakes but this was kind of a big one. I mean this nurse was so wrong about everything and sent me into a panic attack for no reason. My baby got poked and prodded for nothing. If she had confused 11 weeks with 11 days there isn't really an excuse given she had all of his info fright in front of her...most importantly his BIRTHDAY. I guess in the end the fact that he is ok is the most important thing.

Oh and in case you were wondering yes he pooped A LOT. It came out everywhere an was all over his legs arms back...you name it! Hope you weren't getting ready to eat dinner :)

Poor Braden

Braden ALWAYS beats Jon and I at Candyland, and we ALWAYS try to beat him. we have never let him win and no matter how we shuffle the cards or change up the order he always wins. I was curious to see what would happen if he lost...so being the great mother I am I rigged the game and taped it. This is what happened :)

FML...really?

For the past couple of months I have seen people post FML (fuck my life) after just about any ridiculous thing they can think of. Like
"ow I stubbed my toe! FML"
"A bird crapped on my car! FML!"
"I got a ticket! FML"
"Jury duty...FML"
"I'm constipated..FML"

the list goes on and on. It is so annoying that people are so dramatic that they would say "FML" over such dumb things. I guess maybe they don't realize what they are saying. Don't get me wrong there are sometimes when it can be appropriate to feel like your life is fucked, and maybe sometimes it is. Maybe the death of a loved one or a big tragedy but stubbing your toe? seriously? Get over yourself! Everyone has crappy things happen to them, it is just part of life, but I feel bad for those people who feel their life sucks that bad that they have to say that. I have made a promise to myself to never say that over something stupid because I have so much in my life that I am happy for. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband, two beautiful healthy kids, the best family, and the most awesome friends ever, what do I have to complain about? I will still rant and rave every once in a while about something dumb but it won't ever include FML. Besides that just sounds gross...eff your life? Isn't that kind of like effing yourself? Eeeewwwww

Oh its YOU again

The time has come to go back and visit that dreadful place we call the gym. I suppose it is time to come clean and admit just how much weight I gained this last pregnancy that has made this whole gym thing a must. Ok well maybe I won't give you a definite number but we will say it is somewhere between 49 and 51 pounds. I couldn't believe how much I had gained this time especially since I gained only about half of that with Braden. Maybe it was my not so great attitude towards eating this pregnancy that did me in. Here are some of my excuses that I used:

"I can eat that I'm pregnant"
"one more is ok its for the baby"
"I'll worry about it later"
"calories don't count right now"
"I can't eat like this once the baby comes so I better get it in now"
"I haven't gained THAT much"

and of course ignoring/avoiding the scale. I'm not going to lie I really just didn't care this time. I ate what I wanted when I wanted and I enjoyed every minute of it...well until now. I will also come clean that I didn't stop my bad eating habits right away either. Another bad mentality...."welllll I can't work out yet so I should just enjoy it." It is true I was put on major restrictions after my second c-section and no working out for 6 weeks was one of them. I could have started eating better to give myself a head start but honestly who the hell wants to cook when you have been up all night with a newborn? I am honestly starting to believe a new mother started the fast food concept. What is there not to love? It is yummy and fast...if only it wasn't so bad for you.

So basically I didn't start eating good and didn't necessarily make things worse but I sure didn't make them any better. Without exercising and eating good I still managed to drop 25lbs. I am sure a lot of that was water weight leftover from the pregnancy and breastfeeding sure doesn't hurt but that still leaves me with 25lbs AND in addition I want to lose another 20lbs to be happy with myself.

My routine consists of 3 days a week at the gym and NO MORE junk food. That means no more chips, cookies (ok maybe one occasionally), candy, fast food, or anything I know I shouldn't eat. I went and bought a bunch of healthy snack and things to eat and so far they are all pretty yummy. I am also going to allow myself one cheat day a week so I don't go crazy and kill someone, because lets face it everyone needs some grease once in a while. Since I have started I have lost 2lbs. and i have to say for my first week I don't think that is too bad. I know it is going to take a lot of hard work and I am going to have to be strong if I want the results. I have done it before so I know I can do it again, I will :)

6 week update...just a few days late

I seriously can't believe it has already been 6 weeks since I had Brody. That may not sound like a lot of time to some people but when you are only getting a handful of hours of sleep a night getting through one day is a blessing. Brody is a good baby (and getting CHUNKY) I just can't wait for him to sleep through the night. He has become a little more fussy the past week or so but it isn't anything too crazy. He is so far an easier baby than Braden was. Braden had a lot of colic and would just cry and cry and cry, it was horrible, but so far Brody only cries when he is hungry. When he is not crying because he is hungry he is either sleeping or hanging out. It is so fun to watch him grow everyday. He just started smiling (which I have NOT caught on camera yet)and seems much more alert. I will sound stupid to those of you who don't have kids but the best feeling you will have as a parent is the first time your baby smiles at you. It makes the sleepless nights, being peed and puked on, and not showering in a few day totally worth it.

My 6 week check up at the doc was good. She put me on some baby preventers and told me everything looked good from my c-section so I pretty much have the green light to have another one! A few days after my check up I started getting the chills, shakes, and aches. I thought I was coming down with the flu and it was horrible. I mentioned some of the symptoms to my expecting club and a few of them told me to call the doc. I did call her and it turns out I had an infection in my boob from breastfeeding...oh yaaay. Lucky me, but it is ok now I am on antibiotics and feel great.

I also feel more connected to Brody lately. In the beginning I feel as though I was going through a small version of the baby blues. Not depressed just a little disconnected. I didn't have a huge want to hold him and to even be around him that much. It was a weird feeling that I hadn't experienced with Braden. I think I have just been so overwhelmed with everything. New baby, big baby, husband, still no work, bills.....well you get it. Finally I realized just how lucky I am to have a healthy baby. A few girls in my expecting club unfortunately lost their babies and it hit me hard. Every time I would start to complain about having to get up in the middle of the night, or not want to hold him, or be frustrated that I was peed on AGAIN I realized how shitty I sounded. There are women out there who would give anything in the world to have to get up at 3am to feed their babies but cant. I am lucky enough to have this beautiful healthy baby and I am complaining? Shame on me. The bottom line is that those feeling towards Brody have changed completely and I love him more everyday.

I am also trying to curb my "pessimistic" ways and be more of an "optimist" but anyone who knows me knows I am not the most positive person. I have come to realize that there are worse things in life than not being able to pay your bills. For the time being Jon and I have each other and two beautiful healthy kids. We will roll with whatever we are dealt. We can handle it, we always have before.

Oh and one more thing....I have stated back up at the gym but that is an entirely different post!

The word of the day is...UMMM

Oh boy where do I start? I could tell this day was going to start off interesting by the sleep (or lack there of) I got last night. I was so nervous about my upcoming interview that Ihad that weird sleep all night, where you feel like you are awake but really you are half sleeping. I just couldn't relax and on top of that Brody wasn't very helpful by waking up within on hour of his previous feeding.

I finally got out of bed on time to take my shower ( which I cried through) and was trying to relax and get mentally prepared. I almost didn't go to this interview this morning because I was so scared and part of me just really didn't want to get the job. I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going back and fourth about my feelings about the interview. I knew that on one hand I needed to land this job for money reasons and on the other hand if I didn't get it then I wouldn't have to leave my babies. Ugh it is so hard to be prepared for an interview when your emotions are running wild.

Eventually I finished getting ready and got my butt in the car (early for once!) and off I went. Of course I passed the building the first time even though I had google earthed it so I knew what to look for, and then it started to hail....yes HAIL! I was thinking "Oh haaaaail no" as Katie would say :) made a U-Turn and finally made it to the parking lot only to find there were no numbers on the buildings! There were two huge buildings that looked exactly the same (which was oh so helpful) so I picked one and hoped for the best. I got lucky and picked the right one and that is pretty much where my luck stopped. I sat there for a good 20 minutes (since I was early) and there is nothing worse than sitting there waiting. Finally two women walked down the large stairs and approached me. They didn't smile at first they just stared at me. I nervously smiled and finally they said "Brittany?" I replied yes and we made our way back up the stairs.

I made some small talk going up the stairs to show that I was personable and friendly because I knew once the interview started I would probably freeze up and look stupid. I was hoping I wouldn't but hey this was my first interview in about 5 years sooo ya know. We got in the room and the two women put on their Van Damme faces and instantly I got nervous. Let me just say something, interviews are scary no matter who you are, and most of the time it is just one person interviewing you but this time there were two of them just staring at me! It felt more like an interrogation than an interview. They started off telling me about the company, who they were, what they were about, blah blah blah and then asked me about my employment history and this is where is started going downhill. The number one rule you do not break when interviewing is saying umm a lot or even a little. I know this but I still managed to say umm about every third word out of my mouth. Every time I would say it I would think "STOP SAYING UMM!!!" followed by more umms. I just froze I didn't know how to talk, sit, present myself..NOTHING. Then they asked me "Do you have any questions for us?" I thought "Don't say no, don't say no, quick think of something!!" to which I responded "Nope! I was going to ask about the company but you already explained that to me." Oh seriously?? Did I just say that?? That's right I couldn't think of ONE question, in fact I froze up so much I didn't even ask what the pay scale was! After that they said "OK well if you don't have any questions for us I guess we can stop" Uh oh not good. As they were walking me back down the stairs to the doors I tried to make small talk again but I knew it had gone pretty bad. Then instead of saying "OK we will be in touch" or ANYTHING they said "OK well have a nice day and thank you for coming in" did you hear that? Yeah that would be the nail in the coffin. I knew it was over by then.

Total time of the interview: 15 minutes....not good

I was pretty pissed at myself that I messed it up so bad but I really did try my best. I can't help it that I froze and I tried my best to make myself sound good and answer all of their questions professionally. I suppose if it is meant to be then I will get it. Only once in my life have I interviewed for a job and not gotten it, this may very well be the second.

Sleep Deprived and Work??

So wow yeah my little Shovel is over a month old already! Time is going so fast and he is getting so big everyday. I am still amazed at how in love I am with him, and how everyday I just seem to love him more. He is such a **knock on wood** good baby. We are still adjusting and his sleep schedule is still a little off but I am managing. Some nights he will sleep for a straight 4 hours and other nights he is up every hour and a half.

Braden is also still adjusting. He is honestly a very good boy it is just lately he is doing anything and everything to get a rise out of me. He knows he is doing wrong but he just keeps going. On the upside though he is completely done with Pull-Ups and is sleeping through the night in his underwear. I was afraid when we brought Shovel home that Braden might go backwards and start peeing his pants for more attention or to be more like a baby, but he did just the opposite and we are rewarding him later this week (he will get to pick a toy)

It has now been 6 whole months since Jon got laid off and since our saving is getting pretty low we decided I should start job hunting. In fact I have an interview tomorrow. I have so many mixed emotions about it but I really don't have a choice. I know I am doing it for my family but that really doesn't make it any easier. Most people take off the first 3 months of thier baby's life and here I am with a 1 month old job hunting. I suppose the only upside is the fact that I don't have to put him in daycare and he will be home with his daddy. Once Jon gets steady work again I can quit and go back to being home but who knows when that will be!

I am so afraid I am going to miss all of Brody's firsts if I am away at work. Things like his first smile, rolling over, saying a word, crawling!! What if I end up working long enough to miss all of those?? Not to mention Braden starts school this year and I will be dammed if I miss his first day of Kindergarten.....btw why is it spelled kinderGARTEN, shouldn't it be kinderGARDEN? I mean isn't that the way we all say it? Ok I am getting off the subject which means it is time to go. I will try to update more often but newborns don't leave much extra time :)

Mother of Two

When I found out I was pregnant with Brody I had a huge variety of feelings rush over me at the same time. I was excited, nervous, hysterical, second guessing myself, and terrified just to name a few. My reaction to my pregnancy with Brody was much different than my reaction to my pregnancy with Braden (my mom loves telling that story lol). The entire pregnancy with Brody I kept looking at Braden wondering how in the world I was going to love and care for another child the way I did him. I honestly didn't think it was possible to love two children the same. Everyone I talked to said that it would just come. Your heart just expands when a new little one comes into the picture and it is so true. It sounds so cliche but once I laid eyes on Brody everything changed. I instantly had this intense love for both of my kids....kids....that is still weird to say. What else is weird is how I love them both the same. I thought for sure with Braden being my first I would favor him more or even love him more but that isn't true. I can honestly say I love them both the same.

When I had Braden I was a little more immature and had a lot to learn. I didn't do everything I was supposed to do and I didn't put the time into being a mother like I should have. I still think I was a good mom when I had him but I wasn't the best I could have been. Being a little older now I am a different mother to both of them. I think I have more patience and my priorities have definitely shifted. I know now having them that this is what I am supposed to do. Some women choose a career and some women choose to be both a career woman and a mother. I know I am meant to be a mother.

I have always wanted kids for as far back as I can remember. I just feel this is really what I am supposed to be doing. So much so that even though Brody is only 12 days old I am already looking forward to the next (and probably last) baby. With everything going on with Jons non work situation and our savings being drained the kids make me happy. They are so innocent and have such a positive outlook on everything (except naps) how can you not love that? I am in a place now that I know even if we lost the house or our stuff I am content as long as we are all together. Sometimes I sit and wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't had Braden when I did. Where would I be? What would I be doing? It is so amazing how one thing in your life can change the entire path in which you take. Braden wasn't planned but I am so glad he came when he did. I may be stressed out a lot and I might worry too but I am truly happy and wouldn't change my life for anything...ok well if I could move to the beach I would...but that's it! ;)

Homecoming

Here are a few pics of Brody coming home <3

What?? Its only been a few months!

Wow ok so I didn't realize that I have been neglecting my blog so here I am showing some love! There hasn't really been too much to report except for the fact that I had my baby!! Brody came a little earlier than we had anticipated but we are so happy he is here :)

It started last Thursday the 25th, I had been having sporadic contractions for a few hours but nothing I could keep track of. They were so inconsistent that I really didn't think much of them. After a few hours they stopped but I had this nagging cramp in my lower stomach so I decided to call the hospital. They didn't really sound worried and told me I should just come in to be safe and get checked out. We went to the hospital at about 11pm and they hooked me up to the monitors to be observed and all that fun stuff. After the got me all situated they checked to see if I was dilated and I was 2cm (earlier in the day i had a dr.appt. and I was 0 cm dilated) Over the next hour I had 3 big contractions and they checked me again and I was then 3 cm dilated. I was progressing pretty fast so they decided to call my OB. About 5 minutes after they left to call my OB the nurse comes in and says "We're having a baby!" I was in total shock, I was fully expecting to be sent home with a shot or something but no I was going to deliver. It is a scary thing to think you are going home to being told you are going to have a baby. They prepped me all up and the nurse gave me an IV (which hurt like HELL) then had me walk to the operating room.

Once we got into the OR they had me lean over the table to get an epidural. First they gave me a shot to numb the back then they gave me the actual spinal. Getting the epidural is scary, I mean they are sticking a needle in your spine! All I kept thinking about was "what if this is the last time I can feel my legs? What if I flinch and they paralyze me?" Just when I had all of these horrible thoughts going through my head Braden's favorite song came on the radio (they had one on in the OR...weird huh?) For reasons unknown to me my son Braden loves the song I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. I started to relax a little bit because I started to think of my little guy sitting at his Gigi's house having no idea he was about to be a big brother 3 weeks early. That ease and relaxation quickly passed when they laid me down on the table and started getting me ready to deliver. The spinal drug they had given me starts numbing your toes and works its way up all the way to the middle of your chest and it is a horrible feeling, I felt like I was being suffocated. They put the oxygen mask on me and I just started taking really deep breaths and trying to chill out while they started to operate. Because I had had an emergency c-section with my son they decided I would have a c-section with this one too. I wanted to try naturally but my doc says no no.

Once the doctor started operating on me I heard he talking about how she was leaving for California in a few hours and her and the nurse were just engaged in some general chit chat. I would kind of come in and out of realizing what was going on and would turn to Jon every now and then and say how scared I was. With Braden my c-section took about 2 minutes because he was in distress....since this one was fine it took them about 15 minutes but it seemed like forever. Finally at 1:34 am on Friday March 26th 2010 little Brody came into the world screaming bloody murder. He weighed in at 7 lbs. 8 oz and 18.5 in. long. Hearing him cry was the best sound in the world. I got to see him for about 2 seconds before the whisked him away. My doctor congratulated me sewed and stapled me shut and went on her way. Once I made it to my room I had the uncontrollable shakes and listened to the nurse talk about how stupid her black sheep brother was lol. After a little bit Jon a nurse and the doctor came in and I knew something was wrong. Turns out Brody had got some fluid in his lungs and was having trouble breathing. I was very upset since I was looking forward to seeing him. I was told from the beginning that he would remain in the NICU for the entire stay at the hospital. :(

The next morning I was able to go see him in the NICU but he was hooked up to so many things I wasn't able to hold him until 2 days later. Everyday he got better and they were slowly disconnecting things from him (ventilator, antibiotics, IV, oxygen just to name a few) We were told at the earliest he would not be able to go home until Friday April 2nd. I was able to stay in the hospital until the 30th of March, and going home without your baby is the worst feeling. You go in that hospital with the baby and you should be able to stay until you can carry that baby out. I was fully expecting to spend the next few days going back and forth from the hospital but on Wed. the 31st we were told he was well enough to come home early! We were thrilled :)

Brody is now a week old and is doing great at home. We couldn't be happier...the birth of Brody should make for some very fun posts as babies bring so many unexpected things to the table :)

Oh Vegas....

This is what you find around Vegas......Don't ya love it?

Any connection to the name is purely coincidental :)

I owe you this much....

Dear Scale,

You and I have had our struggles for many years now. We have been through adolescence, high school, moving out on our own, pregnancy, and post pregnancy. I will admit my relationship with you is a love/hate although for the most part (and I mean this in the best way possible) I hate you. We are now at a point where I am pregnant again, therefore I have been purposefully avoiding you. I know you are there, sitting in the same spot you have always been, but I choose to imagine you do not exist right now so I can keep my sanity. You see Scale, if I step on you every day I will only make myself crazy and not take advantage of the cravings and occasional "eating for two" excuse. Which brings me to your much taller unforgiving cousin, the doctors office scale. Your cousin makes me feel that much worse when I hear the clink of that big black bar being moved over to the right followed by the little black bar being scooted closer and closer to the edge. I try all the normal excuses "I had a big lunch" "these shoes are clunky" "I just drank like a gallon of water" but no matter what I do it reads just the same. I could get upset and cry about it but I have decided that I want to try and enjoy myself and worry about this weight gain later. As much as I would love to look like a pregnant celebrity with the same frame I started with ( ok maybe a little smaller) with the exception of a little basketball sized belly that just won't happen for me. I will also not walk out of the hospital slim and slender like it never happened......which is honestly good news for you. Scale, I will see you very very soon. In just a few months I will step on you almost everyday to see if I have made any progress by going to that evil place we call the gym. So just try to hang in there, I know you are there, I see you and yes I see the dust too. I sincerely hope the next time we meet we develop more of a love than hate relationship.

Forever Yours, (like it or not)

Brittany

Names take 2

Yet another poll....I am pretty sure this is the last one

Poor little Shovel...help him!!

http://www.babycenter.com/403_bradens-baby-brother-take-2_11152275_509.bc

yeah I know...more bad news

Oooook then! Well the pizza place that Jon was working at closed down for good. The owner decided to take off while he still owed Jon about $750, which is oh so nice. What a douche. I don't know what I am more upset about, the fact that we will probably NEVER see that money,or the fact that he worked for 75 hours all for nothing! All I can hope for is that he gets his someday and that he stays far away from me as I may have some choice words for him. I understand that everyone is having a hard time right now, but to take advantage of someone just makes me sick. What the hell is the world coming to? No wonder this country is so messed up right now, we can't even look out for one another. It seems like the worse things get the more shady people become. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if we just came together and started doing the right thing.

One more thing I wanted to say. I am so sick to death of hearing about people walking away from homes they can afford just because they want to move. Those people are taking advantage of this bad economy and making things so hard for people who really are having a hard time. Things will never get better if people keep abusing the situation. Thats just too bad in my opinion if you bought a house and dont like it anymore! Oh ok yeah lets just let it foreclose and pick a place we like better, that will help our economy! Especially since Las Vegas is doing SO WELL when it comes to the housing markets. Eventually the banks will come back after your ass and I hope they do, if you willingly let your house go into foreclosure. That is so stupid! Ugh sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world who gets anything. Wake up people! Stop messing shit up! I would really like to see things turn around in the future! I really wish I had money so I could buy my own country, but if I had money to do that I wouldn't be bitching about not having money, which means I wouldn't be writing right now! When I have something happy to report I will update again.....in the meantime if you feel like donating money go ahead :)

Oh on one happy note we did find out that we have full insurance coverage until September so we no longer have to worry about being covered when the baby comes! Lets hope that this is the start of a good news trend!

Help us name Braden's little brother!!!

Follow the link to vote! Thank you!!

http://www.babycenter.com/403_help-us-name-bradens-little-brother_11147230_509.bc

P.S. I reserve the right to change my mind on any and/or all of the names lol

Ok I feel better

The first set of pictures of obviously the befores...

After only $20 and 2 hours of work the most wonderful handyman in the world (my husband) fixed the hole and the trim for me right away so either:

1. He wouldn't have to listen to me bitch about it

or

2. He wanted something to do

Either way I am a lot more calm now that I see it all finished! Oh and he didn't do ALL the work...I painted :)