I know just a few months ago I was bitching because I wasn't able to get pregnant right away,but now I have a whole new series of bitchisms. As my belly grows bigger so do my fears and worries. First of all, this pregnancy seems to be going exteremely fast, so fast that some weeks I forget just how far along I am! I have come to terms that this baby is in fact a boy (I may or may not have had more confirmation) and I am very happy and excited about that! As I am so excited for all of these changes it hits me....how the hell am I going to do this??
How in the world am I going to be able to give BOTH kids (wow that sounds weird to say) the same amount of attention? How do I make sure that Braden doesn't get neglected or pushed aside while I am trying to take care of a newborn? How do I keep a happy face when I have had 2 hours of sleep, been puked on, peed on, and havent had a shower in days? I am hoping these are all normal fears worries and questions! I am also pretty sure that it will be one of those things where it just comes to me and somehow I magically know how to handle everything (Braden is 4 so I have done something right so far!!)
I am also more fearful of delivery this time around too. I suppose that is thanks to the terrible experience I had with Braden. At least when I had him I didn't know what to expect so it wasn't so scary, but this time I have something to look back on and it scares the crap out of me. Braden's delivery was probably a weird fluke thing, but I can't help but be fearful that the same things will happen again. I also have a strong feeling that I will go into early labor again too but hey I also swore this baby was a girl...WRONG!
I guess it is just hard to picture myself as a mother of 2, but 4 years ago I couldn't picture myself as a mother period and so far so good :)