Friday, December 14, 2012

Hard to put into words

Turning on the tv today started out normal.  Brody and I like to watch Michael and Kelly together, followed by the price is right.  Today was not one of those days.

Every single time a "Special Report" breaks into the TV my heart skips a beat.  Nothing good ever really comes of them, although occasionally it is a President's speech or something like that (which then makes me mad it is interrupting my shows).  It wasn't anything mild by any means today.

A 20 year old, Adam Lanza, who had barley even learned how to deal with the real world, decided to carry out one of the most horrific acts I have ever heard of in my life.  This guy walked into an elementary school heavily armed and shot 20 children, most of which I am hearing were in a single Kindergarten class. 

It is unbelievable, heart-wrenching, depressing, and absolutely sick to think that there was (and unfortunately probably still is) a person out there who could carry something like this out.  I can't even really begin to try to wrap my head around this.  I am heart broken, sad, hurt, angry, and I suppose demolished is an appropriate word.  The United States have had our shares of school shootings, the earliest in my lifetime that I remember being Columbine.  Another one that I remember is Virginia Tech.  Those were also horrific disgusting crimes, but this one today at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT hits a little harder.  It isn't that the other shootings were any less significant, it is just the very tiny tender ages of these kids is unimaginable and sickening. 

There are a lot of unstable crazy people out there, but most of them would never even do something like this to children so small, or children in general.  It takes a special kind of monster to do such a thing.  It is so hard to put my feelings into words but unbelievable, emptiness, and numb are some choice words.

What a disgusting coward this person (I wont say man because he wasn't one) was to not only mastermind this horrific act, but then to take his own life.  To deprive those families an explanation or justice makes it that much worse.  Not that there is ANY reasonable, acceptable, or even slightly rational explanation when it comes to something like this.  I can only hope that when he took his own life it didn't happen right away.  I hope he missed the crucial point and suffered alone in pain for a period of time.  Even if that had happened he would not have even felt a morsel of pain that the parents and families are feeling right now and will feel for the rest of their lives.  I believe as a nation we are grieving and mourning with them.  I am sure this is not limited to the United States, I believe the world is mourning with us.  My heart thoughts and prayers also go out to the 6 other people who died trying to save and protect those children, as well as the law enforcement that acted so quick to help save more lives, and who had to witness a most definitely grisly scene that will no doubt be with them forever.

Hug your babies tight tonight, shower them with love and be thankful they are home tonight.