Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dear Kristen Stewart,

Please wipe that scowl off of your face! Why do you always look so pissed off? Do you really hate the fame, or are you just trying to be mysterious? Well if you don't want to be famous and have people asking you for autographs and asking about your personal life go work at McDonalds! That way you won't have to feel "uncomfortable"

No I'm being mean...these are probably the reasons you are always so mad:

You HAVE to kiss R-Patz and you are totally dating him..ugh eeewww! (being sarcastic)
You have a LOT of money...like A LOT
You are always in good movies (ok most of them)
People want your autograph and picture..ugh how rude!
You get awards and have to accept them

Geez I could go on and on about how bad your life is!! Poor thing!

P.S. I know your life sucks and everything but if you ever want to trade....

My husband the....er....mechanic

For the past couple of days my car has been making this horrible noise when I would turn the air on level 3 or higher. Being the super (somewhat) investigator I am I figured out the problem myself (ok I googled). Turns out my blower fan was out or whatever. So Jon heads down to Auto Zone to pick up a new one and save the day. Of course they didn't have the part we needed....of course. I finally found on at the dealership and had Jon pick it up.

I swear what is it with men when they come home with a new car part? When he got home it seemed like he was trying not to skip to the garage. This is a man who just worked 12 hours (oh yeah he is working again btw...that's a topic for another blog) hadn't eaten since noon and wanted to play with the car before eating. Jon even gets like this when he is going to change the brakes and I think he secretly can't wait for the brakes to go she he can change them lol. Braden loves when Jon is out in the garage too because it gives him an excuse to go out there and play with all the toys that have mysteriously disappeared from the playroom. Every now and then Braden will come in from the garage and say "LOOK what I FOUND!" and I'm thinking to myself "Oh crap,it took forever to get him forget about that!" Anyway back to Jon.....

I opened the door to the garage to check and see what progress he was making and found him playing with his high powered flashlight that he had plugged into the car. This flashlight is more like a spotlight, like the ones that they shine at the sky for a grand opening or something. It also has two settings...bright and obnoxiously bright. He said "haha look at this *click* *click* *click* *click*" (turning it from bright to obnoxiously bright)I just stared at him, smirked and shut the door. I went back a few minutes later to remind him that I had to pick my mom up from the airport soon, so he needed to hurry. In the middle of telling him that my lights started turning off and on. I didn't think anything of it at first and then I realized that he had just killed my battery by playing with the damn flashlight!

I played it off for a minute:

me:"Uh what is wrong with the car?"
Jon:"Hmmm thats weird!"
Me:"Did you just kill my battery with that damn flashlight thing???"
Jon: "Nah maybe it is just starting to die" *unplugs flashlight*
Jon: *puts keys in ignition to try and start...click click click*

Yeah this time the clicking was bad. Although I think it is funny now I was not a happy camper when this was happening, mostly because I had to get my mom for the airport. The car was so dead that I couldn't even put the car in neutral so we could get it near Jon's truck for a jump. From there Jon took the battery out of his truck, put it next to my car, hooked up the cables,and got ready to try and jump it that way. I just started laughing, I have never seen anyone try and jump a car that way and I kept telling him it wouldn't work. We argued and he said it would....well we both were right. The battery alone gave the car just enough juice for the lights to come back on and for me to put it in neutral and get it down the driveway, but not before my cd player became possessed and started cycling through every cd nonstop...I actually got flashbacks from my Passat.

:::When I was 17 my VW Passat's computer (you know that thing that controls all the functions in the car?) started to die on me. The electric seat belt freaked out and was locking in place then unlocking, the air vents were switching on/off, the vent speeds were changing by themselves, the gas pedal floored itself, the radio was turning on and off in addition to changing the stations....all on the freeway. Can you imagine seeing a 17 year old on the freeway screaming that she was being attacked by her car? Yeah I would love to see that from the outside...I still miss that car, we had some good times, even if it was the devil car, red and all.
RIP RCKSTDY 1992-2004:::

Eventually we got the battery back in Jon's truck, hooked up the cables and my car started right back up with just about 10 minutes to spare before I had to leave. Even though he did eventually save the day....he got his flashlight taken away

Oh and P.S. I can't believe that I forgot to take pictures of this...i need to take more pictures!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Brodys 1st trip to the ER....FOR NOTHING

Ugh I swear it is so hard to find people who know what the hell they are talking about!! Last night I was a little worried about Brody because his sleeping habits and eating habits were changing and he hadn't gone poopie in 3 whole days. He is breastfed and I have been told that if he isn't going poopie a few times a day it is abnormal. I decided to call his pediatricians "medical advice line" last night. It took them 45 minutes to call me back and by the time I got off the phone with her I was in tears rushing to the ER. Here's what happened....

When the nurse called we went through the normal things..name, birthday, etc. she asked what was wrong and I told her Brody is breastfed hadn't had a bowel movement in 3 days, was sleeping longer, and not eating as much. She asked a million questions and then told me this...."A baby his age should never go longer than 1-2 hours in between feedings, he shouldn't be sleeping for that many hours at a time, something is seriously wrong and you need to get him to the ER RIGHT NOW to get his stomach checked out. I should have questioned her more before I loaded Braden up to go to his Mom-moms at 1am and started crying and freaking out that something was seriously wrong with my baby. I thought some of the things she was saying to me weren't right but she is a professional right? The only thing I could think of is that she was thinking he was 11 DAYS old not WEEKS, but nonetheless I scrambled to get everything together and rushed to the ER.

On the way to the ER I downed a Red Bull because I knew was going to be there for a a while and wanted to be alert...I think that was a mistake. I was all shaky when I showed up and Jon said my pupils were huge. I was afraid they were going to think I was on crack or something.

Much to my dismay both John Stamos and George Clooney had the night off so I had to deal with the other ER staff. When I checked Brody in they asked me why I was there and when I told them they looked at me like I was crazy for bringing him down there. I explained that I had talked to a nurse who told me this was an urgent matter that had to be looked at right away. They took his temp (normal temp) weighed him (15lbs now!) and told me it is not uncommon for babies to go that long without a bowel movement. I waited in the waiting room for just a few minutes (which was a surprise) and saw the doctor right away. I was explaining to her everything I had explained a few times by now and she gave me the same "why are you here again?" look. She told me the same thing, that it wasn't uncommon but they would check him out anyways. After examining him she said he is perfectly healthy looking, and she had no idea why that nurse told me to come in. She said if a baby his age wants to sleep for hours on end then fine. If he goes longer without eating then fine. Obviously he wasn't hungry because he is HUGE!! She was so confused and thought the same thing...that maybe the nurse had confused 11 weeks with 11 days. Either way she ordered some blood tests just to make sure everything was ok.

I have a really big problem with people getting blood drawn...I cant watch or its sleepy time for Brittany. My poor little guy got stuck in BOTH arms because they couldn't find a good vein. For 10 minutes I listened to my baby screaming while they tried to draw blood from him. It was horrible and devastating. When listening to that you get to a point where you either want to run out of there with the baby and say forget it or scream and yell at the phlebotomist and tell him to go back to school. It was now 3:30am and we were told we had to wait at least an hour for the blood test results.

In the meantime Jon and I sat in Brody's little room and watched "Family Matters" (I never realized how stupid that show is but it is really really stupid) while snacking on chips from the vending machine. Oh and on the way to the vending machine I passed their security guard who was sleeping...yeah thaaaats nice. I also consumed the most disgusting "mocha" out of one of those coffee machines that I have ever tasted in my life. The entire time we were sitting there waiting I was afraid the cops were going to come in an tell me they thought I was on something lol. If I were someone working there I would have thought something was wrong with me....shaky, dilated pupils, bloodshot eyes (from being exhausted), and having trouble concentrating when asked questions. That's the last time I load up on Red Bull and coffee without eating (cheetos are NOT food)

Finally it was about 4:45am and I went to find the nurse or doctor to find out what was going on. There was no one at the nurse station but I saw someone in a dark room behind the nurses station and noticed they were sleeping. A nurse came up and asked me if I needed anything and I statrted to tell him that I was trying to see if they got any results yet when the person sleeping in the dark room darted up. I then realized the person sleeping was the DOCTOR. Oh gosh seriously?? I know it wasn't a busy night but come on! She then told me that she had just looked and the results weren't in yet but she was going to call them again. I knew she was just pulling something out of her ass because she just got caught sleeping but I didn't say anything and trusted her to call the people.

Not 5 minutes later she came in and said he was 100% fine. All blood work came back normal and they gave him a laxative and sent us on our way. When we got outside the sun was up and that was not what I wanted to see. When we got home Jon and I and Brody were all exhausted and passed out.

The thing with last night is yes, I know people make mistakes but this was kind of a big one. I mean this nurse was so wrong about everything and sent me into a panic attack for no reason. My baby got poked and prodded for nothing. If she had confused 11 weeks with 11 days there isn't really an excuse given she had all of his info fright in front of her...most importantly his BIRTHDAY. I guess in the end the fact that he is ok is the most important thing.

Oh and in case you were wondering yes he pooped A LOT. It came out everywhere an was all over his legs arms back...you name it! Hope you weren't getting ready to eat dinner :)