Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The big question

Well I had my ultrasound yesterday to find out the sex of the baby and much to my surprise I was told it is a boy. While I am happy that the baby is looking very healthy and on schedule I can't help but be in complete denial that this baby is a boy. I was so completely positive that it was a girl...I only picked out girl things, names, etc. I feel like my "maternal instincts" are crap and for me that is a hard thing. as a mother you rely on those insitncts to get you through raising your child. I read a study that said over 75% of women correctly predict their child's gender before getting confirmation. I guess I am not in that percentile. When they told me the baby was a boy, I will admit I broke down, not because I am mad, but because I am disappointed in myself for even getting in way over my head before I knew for sure. I do need to make it known that I still love this baby the same as I did the moment I found out I was pregnant and that won't change. I am just so confused as to why I can not accept the fact that the doctors are right. I blame it partially on the fact that just a few weeks ago the same doctor said his guess was a girl, so part of me wonders what makes him so sure this time? I know in the back of my head he is probably right but I can't seem to shake this gut feeling that I am still right. I probably sound like a crazy person but I just feel so stupid! I am so blessed and so lucky to be able to have children and I never take that for granted....I know there are people out there who can't have children and would die to be able to do so. I am not ungrateful and I know once I accept I was wrong (which is always hard for me to admit no matter what!) I will comeback and read this and feel even more stupid for writing it in the first place,but for now it is theraputic

I did feel better when the ultrasound tech comforted me while I was crying. She stopped and looked at me and said "Oh its ok honey, I cried when I found out I was having a second girl." I have also talked to many people who told me they broke down when they were positive they were having a certian sex and found out they were having another. Like I said before I think it all comes from your reliance on your maternal instincts, and when you are wrong you just feel devastated and start wondering if you ever have them, at least I did. For now Jon and I have been trying to think of boy names (which is so much harder for us) and repick our baby stuff so that it is boy friendly, something tells me a baby boy just would not have much interest in pink bedding or a pink stroller lol! I will continue to have ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy and will post pictures soon :)


  1. hey, my sisters name was kevin before she exited the womb.

    the docs were sure it was a boy- and then.... surprise! It's a girl!

    That happens sometimes. But i'm excited for you regardless.

    I'm glad that the baby is doing well and thriving.

    keep your head up dolly, those pregnancy hormones are a bitch.
    You feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster that wont stop.

  2. wow! Did they think she was a boy on an ultrasound? I am actually feeling so much better since I wrote that, and thank you for taking the time to read it and respond :)
    We need to do lunch soon!

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  4. Brittany do not feel dumb!!! I thought Clover was a boy and I even had a dream of a little boy in my 1st tri. Yea, Clover was definit girl! lol, I felt sorta stupid, but whatever! So what if you thought he was a she, pregnancy hormones are PYSCHO, I would just blame it on those babies! Oh and my parents thought I was a Joshua, until I was born, it happens! lol. Your such a good mommy and just think,Braden now has a little buddy he can teach new tricks to and somewhat relate to :) I think two little boy's is soooo awesome! Well I miss you and send sooo much love to the two of you xoxox

  5. Thank you Summer, that means a lot :)
    I need to see you and little Clover again soon too! I miss everyone!!

  6. ah! i JUST saw this post. i guess it's just meant to be! you can start a boy band!!