Thursday, July 23, 2009

Why not me? I would use that!!

Well I have been trying to get pregnant for about 3 months now (without Jon knowing...KIDDING lol) and obviously it has not happened yet. While that alone is hard to deal with, the hardest part is it seems everyone around me is getting pregnant without even really trying! Don't get me wrong I am very happy for those who are going to have a baby but I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.

Sometimes I ask myself "Are you crazy, you actually WANT to have another baby??" It is weird to say that I am looking forward to and want the morning sickness, the strech marks, weight gain, back pain, overall uncomfortablness, mood swings and no sleep, but I do. Pregnancy was not easy for me but I loved it. It scares the crap out of me but I am ready to take on all of that again.

I know I worry way too much about everything but the baby department is not a place I thought I would have a problem. Braden was the result of missing 2 whole pills, so I always thought that when I was ready for another one it would happen on the first try. I know I am probably looking way too much into it and adding stress to myself which is not helping, but it is hard not to think about. In addition to this stress my body is also pretty pissed at me for taking away its nicotine fix (which I have stuck to and been smoke free for 4 days).

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I suppose it will happen when it is supposed to. The more I analyze it the more I am going to drive myself insane. I just need to relax *sign* Wish us luck :)


  1. you just can't wait to barf can you...

  2. Pregnancy sucks. I was off of birth control for 2 years, never used protection, and was told I wasn't going to be able to have a baby. We werent "trying" but wanted a baby, and a month before I conceived Conrad, We took a pregnancy test thinking i pregnant, I wasn't and we both were sad about it, so we decided we were ready, and tried tried.

    We got pregnant a month later, but were surprised because I have endometriosis, and didn't think i'd be able to have one.

    It will happen. Eventually. Enjoy life as it is now. Everything will happen how it is supposed to happen.