I want it now!

I'll be honest, when I started this blog I expected it to be funny and fun, but lately all I find myself doing is bitching and I should probably apologize for that. However, this post will be yet another unfunny one. I want to meet the people who came up with the phrases "Everything happens for a reason" and "Just think positive" and "It always gets worse before it gets better" so I can ask them how the hell they came up with that, AND just how long it take for this thinking positive thing to pay off. Oh yeah and how come no one ever explains what those reasons are?? And WHY does it get worse before it gets better?

We are going on two months now of Jon being out of work and it is frustrating. It has been hard for me to adjust too especially around the holidays. I love to spoil my family with gifts around this time and it is so upsetting that I can't really do that this year. Yeah yeah I know that's not what Christmas is about but for me it is. I love to go overboard on Christmas it is very gratifying for me and it only happens once a year. I honestly would go out and get a job to help out but no one is going to hire a pregnant person especially when you take into consideration of how far along I am. So Merry Christmas honey.....I paid the power bill!

I have been such a broken record lately that I have been getting on my own nerves..."I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm worried, I can't sleep, what are we going to do, heard anything?" and so on. Being pregnant is for sure not good for the anxiety I have about everything, but there really isn't much I can do. All we can seem to do is continue to "think positive" and do the best we can. I try my hardest to remain positive but it does get tiring, also I have a little problem with patience, I hate waiting and when I want something I want it now. I'm sure we all have a little Veruca Salt in us, it is just more apparent in some than in others.

I can only imagine how I sound..oh boohoo you can't go crazy on your family and shower them with gifts this year..whaaaa but whatever that is how I feel. I know there are people out there who are losing their houses and can't afford to pay any of their bills let alone buy Christmas gifts (and I AM thankful to not be in that position right now) but these past couple of months have made me feel empty. All I can hope for is that this passes soon and things will get back to normal. I hope for everyone that this time next year is much better and this country isn't in such shambles. Lets all just try to think positive....so they say